Sometimes, we can write only what we know
Sometimes, we can write only what we know
By PHILIP MARTIN Sunday, October 18, 2009 LITTLE ROCK — Iknow a good third of the country is crazy. I know some of you will agree, but we might have trouble determiningexactly which third that is. I know it would have been fun to have Rush Limbaugh in the socialistNational Football League, a collectivist institution where thesuccessful are systematically punished, all members collude to restrictsalaries and revenues are pooled and shared. I know I wouldn’t want to work for Comrade Al Davis. I know no one ought to be coerced into pledging allegiance to anything. I know earthquakes. That weren’t no earthquake. I know I haven’t done one of these for a while-I had better pace myself. I know the best test of a society is how it treats its weakest and mostvulnerable members. I know a shame when I see one-and what’s going on in the Forrest Cityanimal shelter is a shame. I know I’m planning on heading down to the Hot Springs Film Festivaltoday. And next weekend. I know people ought to know the meanings of “abstruse,” “sui generis”and “louche.” I know the post-literate era has arrived. Congratulations. I know the Renaud brothers’ Warrior Champions: From Baghdad to Beijingis heartbreaking. And uplifting. But mostly heartbreaking. I know how to blend Scotch whisky. (I still don’t know why.) I know that if Barack Obama hadn’t won the Nobel Prize some peoplewould have given him grief for that. I know that an emolument is like an honorarium. I know the Constitution says “No Senator or Representative shall,during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civilOffice under the Authority of the United States, which shall have beencreated, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been increased duringsuch time; and no Person holding any Office under the United States,shall be a Member of either House during his Continuance in Office.” I know I think that means Obamacan’t accept the prize money-which he’ssaid he’s going to give to charity anyway. I know to always get a receipt. I know politics ain’t bean bag-it’s pro wrestling. I know that video of the photographer putting Vick’s VapoRub underGlenn Beck’s eyes to induce crying in a photo shoot doesn’t mean thatBeck isn’t sincere when he cries on air. I know that you can accept someone’s sincerity without agreeing withtheir nonsense. I know what happens to nosy fellows, kitty cat. I know I DVR enough TV on Sunday night to last me the whole week. I know World Series games played in November are wrong. I know that 10 Best Picture Academy Award nominees are toomany-especially this year. I know it begins with your family-but comes ’round to your soul. I know we find nothing easier than being wise, patient, superior. Wedrip with the oil of forbearance and sympathy, we are absurdly just, weforgive everything. For that very reason we ought to disciplineourselves a little; for that very reason we ought to cultivate a littleemotion, a little emotional vice, from time to time. It may be hard forus;and among ourselves we may perhaps laugh at the appearance we thuspresent. But what of that! We no longer have any other mode ofself-overcoming available to us: this is our asceticism, our penance. I know that was Nietzsche. I know that every few hundred years or so another German monk comesmuttering out of the Black Forest. I know all about Alex Jones, thank you. I know the story of the Hurricane, the man the authorities came toblame. I know asking a question is usually more important than answering it. I know broadband Internet access is considered a legal right in Finland. I know he did 10 years in Attica, reading Nietzsche and WilhelmReich-and that the comedian David Steinberg was the best man at histhird wedding. I know Elgin Baylor is still the best I’ve ever seen. I know about hashtags. I know he found his supper waiting for him. I know it was still hot. I know no one expects the Spanish Inquisition. I know you’d have to drug me to get me up in a helium balloon. I know there’s a crack in everything, and that’s how the light gets in. I know good pitching beats good hitting-until it doesn’t. I know Tommy Lasorda was wrong about Pedro Martinez. I know “a saint is someone who has achieved a remote human possibility.It is impossible to say what that possibility is. I think it hassomething to do with the energy of love. Contact with this energyresults in the exercise of a kind of balance in the chaos of existence.A saint does not dissolve the chaos; if he did the world would havechanged long ago.” I know. Beautiful Losers. I know politicians, ugly buildings and whores all get respectable ifthey last long enough. I know Noah Cross. I know a man may imagine things that are false, but he can onlyunderstand things that are true, for if the things be false, theapprehension of them is not understanding. I know. That was Isaac Newton. I know that for all the short-term trouble it causes, the only thing adecent person can do is to stand up to bullies. I know if it were easy everyone would do it.



